Moving forward

I never thought my year would turn out the way it is. I never thought that I would be on such an amazing journey with such amazing people. Denver gave me a whole new view on myself and a confidence unlike anything I have had before. Saying goodbye to the kids was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. As much as my heart aches in some ways I know that the experiences that will come will be just as amazing and that each place I will have an impact. I believe that one day I will see the benefit of my work. It is hard to believe things are going this well. It seems as if everything has come full circle and I am experiencing the benefits of the wisdom and experience the hard times gave me. Being home has been great yet after a week here I am ready to go back. I'm changing. The way I feel and what I believe is changing. As a result my view of home and friends and family is changing as well. I remember why I left in the first place. As much as I love my home I find an empty feeling here. There are many painful memories and relationships that will never be the same. Nevertheless I love my home and it will always be that way whether or not I feel the same about it. It's probably supposed to be that way. In a way I think that the last couple of weeks in Denver were hindered by the idea of going home but after being home and realizing it wouldn't be healthy for me to stay I know can go forward without feeling like I am missing out. I fly out to haiti tomorrow. I will be there for two weeks doing mission work. It will be a good introduction for those who haven't been out of country before and I am super excited to finally be moving into the next phase of our journey. Hopefully I will be able to share more details about this trip than our experience in Denver. I didn't have one picture I could show. There are a lot of things I wish I could say and a lot of things I have dealt with that have helped me come to conclusions about myself and my faith that will forever impact my life but for me it takes time to think through things, how to say them and how to express them. I will continue to blog as often as I can and hopefully more often that I did in Denver. I will be back from haiti in two weeks with more awesome experiences and hopefully a couple more pictures.